Joke #1480

One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands and knees. 'What are you doing?' she asked. 'I'm looking for my dollar bill,' Max replied. 'I lost it down the road.' 'Why don't you look for it there?' 'Because the light's better here!'
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money

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On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female hostel will be prohibited for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $100. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $200. Are there any questions?" At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
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has 82.51 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: college, money, school, student
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, money, women
A man wakes up after spending 20 years in a coma. One of the first things he does is ring his stockbroker. ‘Your assets have increased considerably,’ says the stockbroker. ‘The £20,000 you had invested with us is now worth £20 million.’ ‘That’s fantastic,’ says the man. Just then the phone starts bleeping and a recorded voice interrupts, ‘To continue this conversation please insert another £500,000.’
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: money
My grandfather came from a very poor family. The only time he tasted meat was when he bit his tongue.
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How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
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Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
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Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
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If Asda is lowering prices every day, why isn’t anything in the shop free yet?
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has 12.72 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series: "Look, how much he loves her…" "Yes. But do you know how much he's being paid for that?"
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has 81.88 % from 322 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, mexican, money, wife
Q: What's the best way of investing your money? A: Alcohol, where else do you get 40%?
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, money