Joke #1750

Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.

Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

Had a fight with an erection this morning. I beat it single handedly.

Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. - You can have chocolate in in public. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.

A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep f*ck me that much even after marriage? He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you." Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"

Knock,Knock, Who is there? Pen! Pen who? is...

Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.

Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!