Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.
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How do you know when a Barbie has her period?
All your tic tacks are gone.
Who's the biggest prostitute in history?
Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch?
A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate?
A: Fuck if I know
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
A girl was pampering a horse with her hand while watching display of the horses, suddenly she touched the genital of the horse.
The excited horse screeched, jumped and ran away very fast.
The horse’s guard faced the girl and said, “Ma’am please do the same to me, so I can run, chase and retrieve my boss’s horse.”
Johny came crying.
Dad: "What happened?"
Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out."
Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?"
Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
Vote:
A woman wants everything from one man.
A man wants one thing from all the women.
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.
Ben asks his new girlfriend for a hand job.
"Ive never done that" she says, "what do I do ?"
"Well" replies Ben, "remember when you were a kid and you'd shake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it ... that's what you do."
She nods, so he pulls his manhood out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it.
A minute later, he has tears running down his face, snot flowing from his nose and wax flying from his ears.
She asks 'Whats wrong ?'
Ben cries "TAKE YOUR FUCKING THUMB OFF THE END!"