Joke #1750

Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.

Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!

Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless." Doc: "How? Give me an example." Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my dick."

Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.

A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."

A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."

If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up

2 cowboys talking about s*x. 1 cowboy says "I like the rodeo position !" "I haven't heard of that ... " says the other cowboy, "what is it ?" "Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper "these feel just like your sisters" and try and hold on for 8 seconds !"

Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.

There's a faggot between Y and I on your keyboard... look!