Joke #1750

Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.
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has 25.44 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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May I push in your stool?
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has 31.57 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
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has 42.60 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, doctor, medical, sex
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
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has 50.06 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
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has 60.97 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why! Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches.
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has 50.40 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: bird, dirty, women
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "I am." The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
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has 85.35 % from 1878 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, food, money
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
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has 46.53 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
A man asks a guy if he likes fishdicks, the stupid guy answers like this because he thinks that he said fishsticks so he says, "Yes, I Love them." Then the man asks him again and says "Do you like having them in your mouth?" Then the stupid Guy answears like this "Yes I like them in my mouth says the stupid guy confused" Then the man says "What are you, a gayfish?"
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has 20.96 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, gay, stupid
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'" The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'" The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'" The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well…?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6’2, hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God…'"
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has 78.01 % from 314 votes. More jokes about: catholic, dirty, food, god, priest
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
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has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, men, Yo mama