Joke #937

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!
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has 82.14 % from 1567 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?” The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!” So the woman asked, “Is this a record?” To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
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has 78.64 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music, women
This guy goes into a Sperm Bank with a gun and a ski mask and yells at the receptionist to open the safe. She's confused, thinking this is the world's dumbest criminal. "Sir, this is a sperm bank, we don't have money in here! That safe is full of donated sperm samples!" The robber screams for her to open it. At this point, she's confused. Maybe he's just a guy who thought better of becoming an anonymous donor and wants his sample back. She opens the safe like he commanded. The robber yells: "Now bring over that tray!" The woman does as he asks and brings the tray of sperm samples to the counter. As soon as the tray hits the counter, the menacing criminal makes further demands: "Now open that container and drink it!" The woman's gag reflex triggers. She barely manages to stammer out "that's disgusting! I won't do it!" Angered the man in the ski mask cocks the hammer on his pistol and repeats his command to drink one of the samples. The woman complies, he tells her to drink another, and another until the entire tray is gone. Once the last cup is finished the man pulls off his ski mask and goes: "See honey, it's not that fucking hard."
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Knock Knock! Who's there? Testicules. Testicules who? Pillow for penis .
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has 63.76 % from 196 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock
I would kick you straight in the vagina... If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
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Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates A: Hugh Hefner.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, viagra, women
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist” The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.” The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”
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has 65.63 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, doctor, love
As I stand here, and try to piss, I think of the gal that gave me this. If I see her, when I get well, I'll get it again. As sure as Hell.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, old people, sport
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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has 78.85 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, women
Q: Have you tried Starbucks new hot beverage, Viagraccino? A: One cup and you're up all night.
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has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, viagra