Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together!
Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? A: Why, shortbread of course!
Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
Why do lions always eat raw meat? "Because they don't know how to cook."
Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her stair master has a dinner tray attached.
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
Two cannibals are eating an atheist, and one says to the other, "Can you believe the way this guy tastes?"
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.