Joke #1776

Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together!
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has 31.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: food

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Chuck Norris has his own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, wife
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father." The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed" At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."
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has 85.83 % from 4832 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, food, love
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: bar, food, life
A man and his wife go to the doctor to see how they could improve their sex life. The doctor recommends Viagra. They come back and see him in a couple of weeks. The doctor says "how was the Viagra?" The wife says "great I love it." Husband says "I like it but it has some side effects, we're bared from McDonald's for life."
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has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, sex, viagra
Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, god, priest
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women? A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, women
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'" The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'" The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'" The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well…?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6’2, hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God…'"
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has 81.31 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: catholic, dirty, food, god, priest
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food