Q: What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a salad?
A: The salad is dressed.
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Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe.
It's now called Shakey's.
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If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
A Boyfriend texts his Girlfriend saying "Hey babe you wanna come over and have sex?"
Girlfriend texts back "Duh!"
So the girl goes over her Boyfriends house, and right before they get into it, he sets the boundaries.
"Ok, so my little brother is home, and I have bunk beds. He's on the bottom bunk.
If you want it harder, you say tomato.
If you want it faster, you say lettuce, and if you want to moan you say any other ingredients that would be on a sandwich."
So they're up on the top bunk having sex, and she's yelling "Tomato! Tomato! Lettuce! Lettuce! Cheese! Cheese!"
Well the little brother is still on the bottom bunk and yells "Hey can you guys knock it off, your getting Mayonnaise all over me!!!"
Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
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