Q: What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a salad?
A: The salad is dressed.
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Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe.
It's now called Shakey's.
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If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.
There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building.
The first man said " I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!"
The second man says "Ok, sure." and the barman holds the bet.
The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in.
Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says:
" I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again." So the barman holds the bet.
Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in."
The first man says" Ok, sure."
The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below.
He is dead.
Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man " Gee, you can be a bastard when you're pissed, Superman."
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.
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