Q: What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a salad?
A: The salad is dressed.
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Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe.
It's now called Shakey's.
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If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.
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One day President Trump's motorcade was heading to the Mexican border to see first hand progress on The Wall.
All of a sudden a naked lone figure was seen bent over on the side of the road.
Wanting to help the president ordered the motorcade to stop.
He got out and approached the figure and suddenly realized it was Nancy Pelosi.
She was naked with her wrists handcuffed to her ankles.
The president said, "OMG Nancy what happened?"
She cried out that she was kidnapped by a bunch of people wearing MAGA hats and left to die!
The president said "Well I'm not going to let that happen" as he was unzipping his zipper.
He yelled out to the motorcade "OK boys the line starts behind me"
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter.
She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake.
Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs.
The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!"
She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine."
Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.."
But the mother cuts him off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine."
Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom, mom, I.."
And the mother cuts him off and says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine."
But then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
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