Joke #1797

Question: How is a woman like a laxative? Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women

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Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, women
This mothers day, Men all around were criticized for not calling their mothers on such an important day. But me, I thought of the best way to get out of such a mess. Heres how the beginning of the Monday after Mothers Day went for me: Mother: "You know Mike, I was thinking and out of all my sons, you never called me on Mothers Day!" Me: "You know Mom, I was thinking, and out of all my mothers, you never called me on SON-day!" Something like this is bound to make her smile and forget, worked with my Mom!
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, time, women
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch? A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: women
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why do women have tiny feet? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: women
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
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has 20.22 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dating, kids, men, women
I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. Its not going too well though. I'm just seeing less and less of her ...
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: women
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn comes in to take a piss. Well, the man cant help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised, "bubba, whats your secret?" Bubba says"well, every night before i go to get in bed with a woman i whack my dick on the bedpost three times." So the man decides to try it that very night. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says"bubba, is that you?"
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has 84.07 % from 1078 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife, women
A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?" "Of course my child, What can I do for you?" "Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?" "Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie." "You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'. The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son",he replied. Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?" The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument designed for use by women, but which has never been used." Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father. Next!"
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has 85.45 % from 681 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, priest, travel, women