Question: How is a woman like a laxative? Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.
A woman went to doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!” “Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” “No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
Why did the blonde have a sore belly button? Because there are blonde men too!
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
A Girl was towelling her wet pussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until... ...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away. Moral Lessons 1. Be kind to Animals 2. Always keep your thoughts clean...