Joke #1797

Question: How is a woman like a laxative? Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: women

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A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN Arrive naked... with beer.
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has 84.82 % from 1111 votes. More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man. This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
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has 74.63 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, single, women
Which Women's Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive! 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Dinner/Dancing 5. Waffle iron 1. CANDY It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR... You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love. 2. FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR... You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die. 3. A SWEET POEM It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR... You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. 4. DINNER/DANCING It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR... You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor. 5. WAFFLE IRON It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR... You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving kitchen appliances.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, food, mean, romantic, women
Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
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has 49.54 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, medical, women
The waitress asked how I would like my coffee. I told her: "like my woman - hot and black".
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has 60.75 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: black people, customer service, women
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
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has 64.47 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, money, women
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
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has 52.63 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, sex, single, women
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: college, men, teacher, women