Joke #1797

Question: How is a woman like a laxative? Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: women

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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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has 54.46 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
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has 78.22 % from 427 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, men, women
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?” The woman replies: “It’s Frank, the midget.”
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has 77.86 % from 488 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at boobs and she said "Press One?" So I did... I don't remember much after that.
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has 85.10 % from 592 votes. More jokes about: sex, women
This mothers day, Men all around were criticized for not calling their mothers on such an important day. But me, I thought of the best way to get out of such a mess. Heres how the beginning of the Monday after Mothers Day went for me: Mother: "You know Mike, I was thinking and out of all my sons, you never called me on Mothers Day!" Me: "You know Mom, I was thinking, and out of all my mothers, you never called me on SON-day!" Something like this is bound to make her smile and forget, worked with my Mom!
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, time, women
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00." A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00."
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has 72.70 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, money, prison, women
Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.
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has 47.48 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: women
A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine. At the first taste she says: "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998" and all the people were amazed. At the 2nd try she answers "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953" and they were once again amazed. Then the drunk pisses in a glass and hands it to her. She tries it and says "Yak, this tastes like piss!" And the drunk says, "Yeah, but what year was I born?"
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, disgusting, drunk, wine, women
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: women