Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Answer: Pregnant.
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Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on.
All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week.
The situation works wonderfully for five years.
When the woman suddenly dies...
The first week after wasn't too bad.
The second week was geting sort of bad.
The third week was getting pretty bad.
The fourth week was really bad.
The fifth week was horrible!
By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
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Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible?
A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?"
She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.
Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?"
He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it.
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?"
"Yeah, for sure..."
"And then... What are you waiting for...?"
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom?
Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
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