Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Answer: Pregnant.
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible? A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It's a candle", he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said. The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates." The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The Irishman replied, "These are Carol's"
Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable? A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch? A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
How is a police car like a women? It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island. The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts. The man thinks to himself, "What if there are other people on the island? Then we won't be stranded!" He throws coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated. Everybody looks at him cross. Then they kick him off the island.