Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress?
She was charged with rustling!
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A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
A girl goes to a library.
Girl: I want the book, "Women- The most perfect and intelligent."
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Librarian: Comic section is at the backside.
Q: Why did my wife cross the road?
A: To go back to the first shoe shop we went in three bloody hours ago.
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers?
1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles.
2. Hunters always....shoot twice.
3. Hunters love to...eat what they shoot!
One day a young teen was in a church for the first time and he got a seat net to a not-so-good-looking woman.
The pastor was preaching and he said: "Tell your neighbour how beautiful they are" and the boy stood up and said pastor "How can you expect me to lie in a church?"
In "I Am Legend", Will Smith survived alone for years.
24 hours after a woman shows up, he dies.
AND that girl stole his bacon.
A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are.
Please keep your photo and return the others.”
He: So then, what's your sign?
She: Dollar.
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.
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