Joke #9856

Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress? She was charged with rustling!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women

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A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, women
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake... He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?" The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times..."
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has 79.99 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, blonde, cowboy, women
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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has 40.60 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sex, women
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. the doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: women
An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?" The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired." The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!" The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
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has 85.44 % from 2055 votes. More jokes about: car, dog, military, war, women
Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.
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has 76.09 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: women
Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: women
A woman went to her doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard. "Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"
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has 85.15 % from 342 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, women