Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress?
She was charged with rustling!
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What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her where the sun don't shine.
Jim and Edna are both mental patients.
One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air.
Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out.
Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..."
"Oh no' Edna replies, that's where I put him to dry !"
Seven days on a honeymoon make one hole weak.
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day.
“Are you hurt?” she asks.
She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”
Why can't single women fart?
They don't get an asshole till they get married.
How many men does it take to please a woman.
Impossible.
Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
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Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series.
We know it as Forged in the fire.
Vote:
Question: What’s the best thing about a blow job?
Answer: Ten minutes of silence.