Joke #1907

Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch? Answer: You don’t. There’s a clock on the stove.
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One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
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Three women were sitting in a bar, (a brunette, red head, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a boy". The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
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A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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Could you imagine if God turns out to be a woman ? Not only am I going to hell, but I will never know why.
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I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. Its not going too well though. I'm just seeing less and less of her ...
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Question: How many men does it take to open a beer? Answer: None. It should already be open by the time she brings it.
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Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers? 1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles. 2. Hunters always....shoot twice. 3. Hunters love to...eat what they shoot!
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did God invent yeast infection? A: So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying c*nt.
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Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection? A: A whopper with cheese.
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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