Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
Answer: You don’t.
There’s a clock on the stove.
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Three women are out clubbing and they spot a club that says, "Women Only."
Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The first floor has a sign on the door that reads, "All men here are short and plain."
The women laugh and continue up to the second floor.
The sign reads, "All men here are tall and plain."
Still this isn't good enough, and the women proceed to the third floor.
"All men here are short and handsome."
The women still want more and go to the fourth floor, where the sign reads, "All men here are tall and handsome."
This is perfect and the women are preparing to go in, when they realise that there is still one more floor.
They go up one floor and read the sign.
"There are no men here. This floor is built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Q:Why did the woman cross the road?
A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ...
20 years old and mixed up with coke !
Why did God create man before woman?
He didn't want any advice!
Him: "Do you have a flat stomach?"
Me: "Yeah, but the L is silent.
This black woman was vastly overweight, and I mean MASSIVE and she went to see the doctor about her weight.
She said to him, "Have you got any dieting remedies or anything that can help me loose weight?"
The doctor replies, "Yes we do, all you need to do is shake your head from left too right, simple eh?!"
She says, "WOW that's amazing, um... when do I do it?"
The doctor says, "Next time your ordered food."
A girl visited her boyfriend, which was still living with his mother, at his house.
His mother had Puritan principals.
The mother, as long as the girl was there, didn’t even try to hide her dislike feelings for his son’s choice.
"Mom, can I escort Helen?"
The girl, waiting to hear a cold hearted "no", she surprised hears: "Sure... You can! Escort her... to the corner with your eyes!"
Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it?
A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight...
But honey, what about our kid?
What kid?
So you are not you pregnant?!