Joke #1907

Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch? Answer: You don’t. There’s a clock on the stove.
Vote: has 37.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women? A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, women
At a dancing party a shy boy approached a girl and asked, "Will you dance with me, please?" The arrogant girl says, "I don’t dance with a kid." The taken back boy apologized, "I am sorry, I did not realize you were pregnant."
Vote: has 84.15 % from 169 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, music, women
A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia." As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, women
I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
Vote: has 76.01 % from 181 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, dirty, women
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.” “No, that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?” “Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”
Vote: has 86.49 % from 293 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, dirty, tax, women
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Vote: has 87.84 % from 511 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, men, women
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
Vote: has 28.45 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong. He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
Vote: has 77.76 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, men, wife, women
Why are women like parking spaces? Because all the best ones are taken... and the rest are handicapped.
Vote: has 59.80 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes." The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
Vote: has 53.62 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, love, marriage, women