Joke #1972

The young police recruit was asked.. "What would you do if you were sent to arrest your mother?" His reply.... "Call for backup."
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop

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Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
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has 69.30 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, viagra
A policeman is driving along the road when he gets an urgent message on his radio telling him there has been a dead body found in an ice cream van just down the road. He rushes to the scene where he discovers a man's body, with chocolate flakes up each nostril, raspberry sauce all over his head and he is covered from head to toe in hundreds of thousands of sprinkles. A puzzled onlooker asks the policeman what he thinks has happened, to which the policeman replies: "It looks like he's topped himself."
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: cop
A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
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has 18.37 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bird, cop, dirty, fat
A female police officer pulls over a drunk driver Officer: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in the court of law." Driver: "Tits"
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has 79.50 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: cop
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant. “No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”
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has 85.46 % from 1291 votes. More jokes about: cop, lawyer, marriage, wife
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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has 71.00 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: cop, lawyer, wife
A group of blondes was going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day, I am going to dial 911 and call the cops!"
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, cop, travel
I got stopped by a police officer on the way here. He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: cop, fitness, flirt, mean
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?" The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?" The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"
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has 75.65 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, time, travel
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop