Joke #2074

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Vote:
has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the damn ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man," says his partner. "You'll never hit her from here."
Vote:
has 85.60 % from 778 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: "The doctor said that my brust is like a 20 year old girl’ brust." Husband replied: "Did he mention about your 45 year old hanged to the floor ass?" "No", she said. "Your name wasn’t even mentioned."
Vote:
has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, marriage
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s teacher."
Vote:
has 85.50 % from 1680 votes. More jokes about: dad, god, kids, marriage, wife
I joined Bachelors Anonymous. Every time I feel like getting married they send round a woman in curlers to nag me for a while.
Vote:
has 84.18 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: marriage
On wedding night, during sex: Husband: I had a sex with so many callgirls so many time before. Wife: Thats what I have been thinking since we met that I have seen you somewhere before...
Vote:
has 73.80 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
I can remember where I got married. I can remember when I got married. I just can’t remember why.
Vote:
has 85.18 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Vote:
has 60.08 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the left." After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"
Vote:
has 78.87 % from 389 votes. More jokes about: car, marriage, mother in law, wife
Always talk to your wife when you’re making love – assuming there’s a phone handy.
Vote:
has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Vote:
has 84.96 % from 470 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, women