Joke #2074

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!
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has 32.03 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, relationship
A dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter decide to play a practical joke their best friend on his wedding night. "I'll loosen some joints on his bed so it collapses when he's making love," says the carpenter. "I'll hot wire his mattress so they'll feel immense heat while making love," says the electrician. "Those are good ideas," says the dentist. "But my contribution's going to be a real surprise." The next day the new husband comes to the diner to meet his friends. He says "I congratulate you guys for making the bed heat up and collapse, but I'm gonna kill whichever one of you put novocaine in the massage oil!"
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has 55.68 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, wedding
A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire".
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has 86.03 % from 396 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, women
Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A: Married.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, marriage
I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, technology, Valentines day, wife
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.   After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship, Valentines day
Marriage is spending the rest of you life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you'd miss them.
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has 85.68 % from 212 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Wife to husband: ‘You certainly made a fool of yourself last night. I just hope nobody realised you were sober.’
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies? A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, marriage, political, sex
Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards. If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up. Birth control would come in ale or lager. Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: game, marriage, Valentines day