A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed.
In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.
She went downstairs and looked around, still not finding her husband.
Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning.
She went down to the basement to find her husband, crouched in the corner facing the wall, sobbing.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked him.
"Remember when your father caught us together when you were 16?" he replied.
"And remember, he said, I had two choices - I could either marry you, or spend the next 20 years in prison."
Baffled, she said, "Yes, I remember. So?"
"I would have gotten out today."
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Wedding night confession
Husband: Before we married, I slept with many prostitutes,
Wife: I knew I met you before..
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Wife: "There's something preying on my mind."
Husband: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
Vote:
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Vote:
A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series:
"Look, how much he loves her…"
"Yes. But do you know how much he's being paid for that?"
A man goes to see a wizard and says "can you lift a curse that was put on me years ago ?"
"Maybe," says the wizard, "if you can remember the exact words of the curse ?"
The man replies without hesitation "I pronounce you man and wife ..."
Wife to husband: ‘Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!’
Husband: ‘Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.’
Practical thought:
A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes.
A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
A wife says, "Hey! Look at that funny guy who's been drinking a lot."
The husband responds, "Who is he?"
The wife answers, "Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage."
"Oh my God! He's still celebrating his freedom!" says the husband.