Joke #2106

"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: football, game, sport

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Vote:
has 76.78 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: football, sport, stupid, Yo mama
A Scottish man was at a baseball game. It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, run!” This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game. The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called “walk” and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye ba$$tarrd, rrrun!” Everyone around him started laughing so the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down. The fan sitting next to the Scotsman noticed his embarrassment, so he leaned over and explained, “He can’t run because he got four balls.” The Scotsman immediately stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, man! Walk with pride!”
Vote:
has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: game, sport, time
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
Vote:
has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: football, insulting, kids, sport
Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club. He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fucked every week !'
Vote:
has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: football, sport
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."
Vote:
has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: family, football, geography, management, sport
A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer." Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better." The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
Vote:
has 68.07 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: doctor, game, soccer, sport
Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans? A: Squash.
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dinosaur, game, sport
Billy and Joe were huge baseball fans. One day, both Billy and Joe made a pact that if either of them were to die; they had to come back to the other in the form of a ghost to let the other know if baseball was played in heaven. Sure enough, Billy dies and eventually comes to Joe one night in the form of a ghost. A startled Joe realizes it is the ghost of his deceased friend and says "Billy, it is so good to see you...so tell me, is there baseball in Heaven?". "Well", Billy says, "I have some good news and bad news for ya. First the good news...YES, there is baseball in heaven!". "Thank God!" Joe shouts... "What is the bad news?!". "You're pitching tomorrow."
Vote:
has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: game, god, heaven, sport
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown? A: A dino-score.
Vote:
has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dinosaur, football, sport
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing." Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!" Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday." The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
Vote:
has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, football, hospital, sport, work