Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here." The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here." The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer." The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?" He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV? A: The Dallas Cowboys.
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!