An announcement came over the intercom for the college students:
"Will the students who are parked on the wrong side of the Parking area please move their cars."
Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:
"Will the three hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."
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Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school.
Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?"
"Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."
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"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
Teacher: “Why are you late?”
Boy: “Because of a sign down the road.”
Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with your being late?”
Boy: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!’”
A father went to take his daughter from school.
While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!"
"With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her.
"Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
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Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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After Graduating from High School, David moves away from home to study at University.
One of his letters home reads:
Dear Father,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.
After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.
Dear David,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
A teacher:"John, I hope I won't see you're cheating."
John:"Me either."