An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.”
“I’m surprised,” said the owner.
“I’ve never taught that bird to swear.”
“Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor.
“But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
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The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I’ll show you this frog in my pocket.”
He then reached into his pocket and pulled out
a chicken sandwich.
He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That’s funny.
I distinctly remember eating my lunch.”
Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her teacher asked her a question.
He inquired, “What grows to 10 times its original size when excited?”
Jane blushed and said that she didn't know.
Jimmy raised his hand and said, “I know! The pupil of the eye.”
The teacher replied, “Yes, very good Jimmy.”
The the teacher turned to Jane and said, “Jane I have three things to say to you: One -- you have a very dirty mind.
Two -- you haven't been studying hard enough. And three -- you're going to be very disappointed!”
Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
Vote:
Teacher: Students draw a picture of bacteria.
Student: Here it is Mam!
Teacher: Where? It Is Blank.
Student: you told that bacteria cannot be seen with naked eye!
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role;
And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school."
The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school!
The teachers and students hate me!
Give me one reason I should go!"
The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"
What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.
John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!