What is the difference between a blonde and a pothole? You swerve to miss a pothole!
A blonde's car breaks down. A cop pulls up and inquires about the group of naked men standing next to her car. The blonde says, "They're my emergency flashers."
How do you kill a blonde with one arm? You wave to her.
A blonde calls her mom... Blonde: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!" Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?" Blonde: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!" Second Blonde: "Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"
A blonde goes into a kitchen store and says to an assistant "Can i buy that TV please?" The assistant says "Sorry we don't serve blondes." So the blonde goes out and gets her hair dyed and then comes back and says, "Excuse me can i buy that TV please?" and the assistant says "No, because we still know who you are." So the blonde goes out and gets plastic surgery. She then comes back and says "Excuse me, can I buy that TV please?" and the assistant says, "No, because it's a microwave!"
What would you do if a Blonde threw a hand grenade right at you? "Just pull the pin and throw it back."
How do blonde brain cells die? Alone!
Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head!
When you think that you are looking at Chuck Norris' picture, think again... he's looking at you.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? A. She kept having affairs with men!