Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
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A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?"
It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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Warning!
User Error.
Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
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Funny facts about Google users:
50% of people use Google well as a search engine.
The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
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Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
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How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus?
Don't worry, they'll let you know.
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