Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
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Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV?
A: The Dallas Cowboys.
Men and women can be friends without any sex involved.
It's called marriage.
What did Adam say to Eve?
‘Stand back!
I don’t know how big this thing gets!’
A cowboy and a retard are sitting at home bored.
The cowboy says," let's go down to the bowling alley and beat up niggers."
The retard says ," OK ".
When they arrive , the cowboy sees five black dudes bowling.
He goes over and starts beating their asses.
He stops and looks to see the retard smashing bowling balls with a sledgehammer.
He goes over and says, " hey... I thought we was gonna beat up niggers?"
The retard responds, " yeah...you get the live ones, I'll kill the eggs ."
A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off.
He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum.
As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?"
The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips."
The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure.
The cowboy said, "Nope.
But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
A: It’s not hard.
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, "Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future."
"I still don't get it" responded the Little Johnny.
"Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better," said the dad.
"Okay then...good night" said Little Jonny went off to bed.
In the middleof the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying.
He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper.
So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help.
When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep.
Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, buthis dad wasn't there.
So he went to the maid's room.
When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid.
Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized somethingand thinks aloud,
"OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, andthe future is full of shit!"
Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
Q: What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
A: Bronchitis.
