Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
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An old man goes to his doctor and says, ‘Can you give me something to lower my sex drive.’
The doctor replies, ‘I would have thought at your age it’s all in the mind,’
‘It is,’ agrees the old man.
‘That’s why I want it lower.’
Q: What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
A: Bronchitis.
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15."
The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time.
The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating.
The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."
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A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road.
He stops.
And he asks him:
- Hey, What happens to you?
- (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car.
- Well, don't care and buy another car.
- Look inside the car!
- Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all.
- Look inside her mouth!!!
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.
‘Its been a rough day.
I put on a shirt and a button fell off.
I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off.
I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.’ Rodney Dangerfield
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up.
He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum.
Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?"
To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips."
Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?"
"No, but it stops me from licking them!"
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?"
A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?"
"No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
A cowboy and a retard are sitting at home bored.
The cowboy says," let's go down to the bowling alley and beat up niggers."
The retard says ," OK ".
When they arrive , the cowboy sees five black dudes bowling.
He goes over and starts beating their asses.
He stops and looks to see the retard smashing bowling balls with a sledgehammer.
He goes over and says, " hey... I thought we was gonna beat up niggers?"
The retard responds, " yeah...you get the live ones, I'll kill the eggs ."
