The four words most hated by men during sex?
‘Is it in yet?’
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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex?
A: Two of his fingers are clean.
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver.
She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?"
"Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish.
Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids."
"Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too."
"My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon.
Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there.
The newlyweds call the groom's mother for advice.
The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there.
The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens.
The groom calls his mother back.
She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers, and nature should take its course.
The bride and groom take his mother's advice, but still nothing comes to mind.
He calls his mother a third time.
Getting frustrated with the situation, she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest spot!"
The groom is quiet for a moment and then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit, now what?"
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself....
Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
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