Why did the frog cross the road? To see what the chicken was doing.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
The T. Rexes were all angry. You know why? Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands! How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate? That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct right there.
What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk? An udder failure.
Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says; I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it." "Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?" "Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator. "Hm. Well, where do you catch 'em?" "Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp." "Same here. Hm. How do you catch 'em?" "Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!" "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.