Why did the frog cross the road?
To see what the chicken was doing.
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What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.
Q: Why do fish live in to the salt water?
A: For the reason that pepper makes them sneeze!
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
I took my 7 year old son to the zoo today.
We were walking around and soon he said, “Look Dad! It's a frickin' Elephant!”
I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us.
“What did you just call it?” I asked.
“It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture!” he said, and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?
They re always switching their tails.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Vote:
What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper?
Warren.
Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot?
Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know.
I didn’t think sheep could knit!