Joke #2355

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
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John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter. He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
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A lady tells her husband, “My gynecologist said I can’t have sex for two weeks.” He replies, “What did your dentist say?”
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It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
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Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
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Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men? It changes their blood type.
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Think of the hottest woman. Chuck Norris did her.
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Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
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Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
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An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
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