My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps.
Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
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What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove?
About a half an hour...
Why do women need guys?
Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
How do girls get minks?
The same way minks get minks.
Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
Q: What have condoms and tires in common?
A: Good year.
What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers?
‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’
Two old men hobble into the pub.
One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’
‘All right,’ says the other.
‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says I love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn
Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.