Joke #2463

The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them: If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people, kids, racist
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy says OK, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?” The guy replies: “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”
Vote: has 81.94 % from 115 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cop, travel
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? Stegosaur-rust.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, lawyer
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
Vote: has 62.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, computer, IT, programmer
What is the definition of "derange"? De place where de cowboys ride.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cowboy