Joke #10033

What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight? Sir Loin.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
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What does a frog say when it sees something' great? Toadly awesome!
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Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
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has 80.11 % from 287 votes. More jokes about: animal, school, teacher
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two deer hunters were not having any luck so they asked for advice from an old-timer. "You can just about guarantee a deer if you learn to hunt with dogs," he said. The two hunters got a trained deer dog and hit the woods. At the end of the day and still empty-handed, one hunter said to the other, "Maybe tomorrow we'll get one if we throw the dog out of a higher treestand."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, hunting, time
What is the difference between an pilot and a pig? The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
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has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: air force, animal, drunk
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
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has 80.20 % from 498 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, computer, IT, programmer