What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight? Sir Loin.
You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house? The Lizard of Oz.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull.
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.