What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.
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What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo Eyes.
I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard.
I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg.
That'll blow his little mind.
What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The moospaper.
What are the spots on black-and-white cows?
Holstaines.
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He was the last of his race!
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What’s the difference between goats and women??
Goats are always horney.
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."
