A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?
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Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?
It was an inn-grown hare.
What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
Vote:
What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
Filet delay.
There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around.
After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter.
"That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor.
"Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store.
As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him.
The further he walked, the more rats followed.
He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him.
So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned.
He returned to the store shortly.
"Ah-ha!" said the proprietor.
"You've come back for the story, right?"
"Nope," said the man.
"You have any brass lawyers?"
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
"Does your dog bite?"
"No."
(Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him)
"Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
"That is not my dog."