A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?
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Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
Vote:
"Does your dog bite?"
"No."
(Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him)
"Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
"That is not my dog."
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?
Roost beef.
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters.
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs?
A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair.
An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"
And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid."
No chicken dies a virgin.
They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."