A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden. Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says: Mama, is that you?
Q: What is height of De-hydration? A: A cow giving milk powder.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
What does an octopus take on a camping trip? Tentacles.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit. We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly." "How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads.
How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk? A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone."