What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
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What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion.
The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”.
The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He was the last of his race!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,
"Some things you just can't explain.
This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole.
I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too.
As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.
As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: About eight beers.
What are cat-erpillars afraid of?
Dog-erpillars.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.