What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
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What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper?
A slippery customer.
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?"
Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
Vote:
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied:
I love sauna!
Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some haywire!
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?
Roost beef.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Vote:
Pavlov walks into a bar.
The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?
The Lizard of Oz.