Joke #10522

What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day? After a week he was spotless.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup." Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
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How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew.
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A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks. ''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?'' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?'' The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'' ''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.'' The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.'' The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, money, music
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
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has 40.70 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, lesbian
Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please". The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, bartender, dog
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog, political
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle. The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so." That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
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has 52.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, marriage