Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
Johnny: I is..
Teacher: No, that's not correct Johnny.
You should always say, 'I am.'
Johnny: Okay, 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
One day the teacher told her class to think of something exiting that happened recently.
Little Suzie told about her trip to Florida.
Clyde said his dad got drunk all the time.
Little Johnny put a dot on the board and the teacher asked him to explain what was exciting about a period.
He said: "Hell if I know but my sister said she missed hers and my mom screamed, my dad had a heart attack, and the boy nextdoor killed himself."
Vote:
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Vote:
Little Johnny walked into the house covered in filth.
His mom asked, "Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?"
Johnny replied, " I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are."
Vote:
Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Little Johnny replies, "HIJKLMNO"!
The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?"
Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"
Vote:
On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself out late and decided to look for a place to rest the night.
He finally found a hut in the middle of the woods and knocked on the door.
An old man answered, and he agreed to give Johhny a bed for the night on one condition: the man's teenaged daughter would be in the other bed, and Johnny was not to touch her or disturb her sleep in any way.
Johnny agreed, but changed his mind when he saw how beautiful the sleeping girl was and, while she didn't respond to his caresses, she didn't push him away either.
The next morning, Johnny awoke alone, but he figured the girl had gone to do her chores and he eagerly awaited her return.
Instead the old man walked in, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"What's wrong?" asked Johnny.
"Oh, I've just come back from the cemetery we had my little girl's funeral this morning. But thank you so much for sitting up with her body last night."
Vote:
One day little Johnny was playing on his push car that u sit on and push with your feet.
His looked like a bus, and as such he was the bus driver.
Little Johnny would drive a little, stop, and say "all you mother fuckers that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want to get off, get off."
His mother was in the kitchen and thought surely I didn't hear him correctly.
But then once again, little Johnny stopped and said "all you mother fuckers that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want t o get off, get off."
So him mom came running out and told her young son he was to go to his room 'till he learned to play right.
About 20 minutes later Johnny came out to play.
Be reassured his mom he learned his lesson.
So, back on his bus, he began driving around again.
He stopped and said "all you nice people that want to get off, get off. And all you nice people that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want to know why I'm late, ask the bitch in the kitchen.
Vote:
Passing an office building late one night, a little Johnny saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman.”
He did so, and after several minutes he heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.
The old, uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.
“Well,” he snarled at the kid, “what do you want?”
“I just wanted to know why you can’t ring it for yourself…?”
Vote:
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day.
All of a sudden he needed to go the bathroom.
He yelled out "Miss Jones I need to take a piss!!"
The teacher replied, "Now Johnny that is NOT the proper word to use in the situation.
The correct word you want is urinate.
Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly and I will allow you to go."
Little Johnny thinks for a bit then says " You're an eight but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!"
Vote:
Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card."
Johnny: "I don't have it."
Johnny's father: "Why not?"
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Vote:
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?"
Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
Vote: