Joke #2533

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey, Dad! What are you doing?" His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman filled her this morning."
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has 85.19 % from 836 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny

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The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?" Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."
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has 76.06 % from 315 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, little Johnny, teacher
Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, May I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!
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has 78.81 % from 717 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
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has 81.15 % from 512 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, technology
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
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has 85.89 % from 7226 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, stupid, teacher
Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him: "May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!" Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny: "Have you heard your Granny's wish? So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac! Those 4 steps will not save ya!"
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has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, little Johnny, time
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
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has 74.00 % from 260 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, Santa, school, teacher
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic.But let me ask you a question first." "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" "Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea." "Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
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has 85.99 % from 1800 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, stupid
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
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has 85.70 % from 1881 votes. More jokes about: dad, health, horse, little Johnny
During the soccer match little Johny sits in the front row. His friend asks: How did you get tickets? From my brother - respond Petya. And where is your brother? At home. Looking for his ticket.
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has 80.59 % from 547 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, soccer
Little Johnny asks his mother how old she is. Her reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs. Again the mother's reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." The boy then asks, "Why did daddy leave you?" To this, the mother says, "you shouldn't ask that" and then sends him to his room. On the way to his room, the boy trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out. The boy looks it over and goes back to his mother saying, "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!!!"
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has 81.98 % from 566 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny