Joke #2533

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey, Dad! What are you doing?" His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman filled her this morning."
Vote: has 85.24 % from 397 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?" Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
Vote: has 81.22 % from 104 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, kids, little Johnny, teacher
Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly. The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him. Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation." The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
Vote: has 39.95 % from 139 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: duck, little Johnny, student, teacher
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, little Johnny, school
Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch!" Johnny shouted his mother "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords." But, Mom, replied the boy, "That's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it." Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four."
Vote: has 74.83 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, vulgar
Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: "I didn't had no fun for months." Then she faces the class and says, "OK class, how should this be corrected?" Little Johnny says, "I think you should get yourself a better man!"
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher
Little Johnny asks his mum, "Mum, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time in a faraway land'?"  "No darling," says his mother, somewhat distressed, "Sometimes, they can begin with 'I've got too much work in the office tonight, I'll come home later'."
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, work
Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "It was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."
Vote: has 79.29 % from 178 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, dad, little Johnny
Early one morning a mother went to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "Buy why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I *should* go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
Vote: has 69.20 % from 278 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school, student, teacher
Little Johnny was in his maths lesson one day when his teacher asked him a question to see if he was paying attention. "If I gave you 20," she began, "and you gave 5 to Mary, 5 to Sally and 5 to Susan, what would you have?" Johnny thought about this and then answered, "An orgy?"
Vote: has 63.05 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny
The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sex?" Johnny stood up and said: "Sex is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation" The teacher stared at him and fainted.
Vote: has 68.14 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, sex, teacher