Little Johnny was only six years old when he tried to feel his sister's friend's pussy.
She slapped him and said not to because it has teeth and will bite.
As the years passed, and little Johnny one day grew to become a man, he was sitting in his car with his girlfriend, rubbing her thighs and squeezing her tits, when she said, "Aren't you going to feel my pussy?"
He said, "I can't, its got teeth!"
"Don't be a fool," she said, "have a look if you don't believe me."
So he thought about it, then took off her panties and spread her legs. He looked in and said, "I'm not surprised you haven't got any teeth with gums like that!"
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"Mommy," Little Johnny asked, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'?"
"No, dear," she replied. "Sometimes they start with 'Darling, I'll be working late at the office tonight...'"
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Little Johnny walks into his dad's bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom.
His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed.
Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?"
His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."
Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"
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Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub.
He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton.
She replies, "A bush."
The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower.
He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?"
His father replies, "It is a snake."
A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights."
A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sex.
He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"
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Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school.
His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?"
Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.
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Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
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A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven.
At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven! Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa.
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.
"Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny.
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Little Johnny asks his mum, "Mum, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time in a faraway land'?"
"No darling," says his mother, somewhat distressed, "Sometimes, they can begin with 'I've got too much work in the office tonight, I'll come home later'."
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Little Johnny walked into the house covered in filth.
His mom asked, "Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?"
Johnny replied, " I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are."
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One day johnny's mam asks the class, "Which part of the human body goes to heaven first?"
Suzi said, "Well, it's our hands.
We do all the good things with our hand, so they are bound to go to heaven first."
Teacher says, "very good. Anybody else?"
Rocky says, "Well, it's our heart.
We think all the good things with our heart, so it's bound to go to heaven first."
Teacher says, "very good.
Do you want to say something, Johnny?"
Johnny says, "Our legs go to heaven first."
Teacher, not getting any clue says, "How comes it, Johnny?"
Johnny says, "Yesterday night, I was passing through my parent's room, & there was my mom,-legs high in the air- screaming 'Oh God!
I am cumming'"
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