Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child.
Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
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Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny.
The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was.
Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!"
And fell back to sleep.
A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world.
Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!"
And fell back to sleep.
Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child.
Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"
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Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words?
Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time."
Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence."
Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
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Joke has 64.10 % from 362 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Little Johnny came home after school:
"Daddy, I have a bad grade in English language."
"Why?" asked his father.
"Well, the teacher asked us the following question: "Mary entered the forest with John and came out of the forest with Mike. What is Mary?"
"How come what Mary is? A whore, of course," said the father.
"That's what I said, but the teacher answered Mary was a subject."
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Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'"
Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"
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Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," says his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends,
"It's okay, we can play that game again!"
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For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.”
The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase.
So he asked, “Son, where are you going?”
Little Joe told him: “I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I’ll be damned if I’m staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no bike!”
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A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of s*x education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo.
But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.
Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of s*x education from the class.
One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs." "Very good, William," cooed the teacher.
"My mommy had a baby," said little Esther.
"Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher.
Finally, little Johnny raises his hand.
With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him.
"I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns."
The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?"
"It'll teach those Indians not to fuck with the Lone Ranger."
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Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?"
Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied.
"Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey.
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I'll be there too.
Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
Little Johnny was sitting in his classroom when his teacher asks what sounds animals make.
First the teacher asks,"what sound does a cow make?"
Susie raises her hand and says moo.
"Good job susie" says the teacher.
Then she asks what sound does a duck make?
Billy raises his hand and says quack.
Next the teacher asks what sound a pig makes.
Little Johnny raises his hand and says," Get your black ass out the car, put your hands above your head, and spread your legs!"
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Little Johnny was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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