As he drove along the highway, a guy kept seeing billboards with beautiful, tanned people and the words: Visit the Garden of Hedon.
His curiosity got the best of him and he turned off the road at the entrance to the place a few miles down the road.
He went inside a building marked "Registration" and saw an attractive woman sitting at a desk.
"Exactly what do you do here?" he asked.
"It's quite simple," said the receptionist.
"This is a nudist camp. We take off all our clothes and commune with nature."
"Cool," said the guy, "count me in!"
So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off.
As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays."
A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing: "Beware of Gays."
He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground.
He bent over to read the plaque and it said, "Sorry, you've had two warnings!"
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God: You have 3 wishes.
Me: Make my friend gay.
God: You still have 3 wishes.
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Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
Vote:
One day a magical frog sees a bear chasing after a rabbit for dinner.
In an attempt to bring peace to his magical forest, the frog hops up to the two and promises them 3 wishes each if they stop this violence. After both animals agreed, the frog chooses the bear to state his first wish, first.
After thinking for a while, the bear says, "I wish for all the bears in this forest to be female except me."
Next is the rabbit's turn, "I wish for a motorcycle helmet," he says.
The bear laughed, what an idiotic wish to make he thought to himself.
The bear then says, "I wish for all the bears in this country to be female except me."
The rabbit next says, "I wish for a motorcycle that requires no gas."
The bear, almost tearing from laughter, says, "You could have wished for money to get those two things!"
He then proceeds to make his final wish, after thinking for a while, he says to the frog, "I wish for all the bears in the world to be female except for me!"
He smiles smugly.
The rabit then puts on his helmet, hops on his motorcycle, grins to the bear and says, "I wish for this bear to be gay."
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.
Vote:
It was 5:00 in the morning at the U.S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks.
The drill sergeant walks in and bellows, "This is an inspection! I wanna see you's all formed up outside butt naked NOW!"
So, the soldier's quickly jumped out of bed, naked and shivering, and ran outside to form up in their three ranks.
The sarge walked out and yells, "Close up the ranks, conserve your body heat!" So they close in slightly...
The captain comes along with his swagger stick.
He goes to the first soldier and whacks him right across the chest with it. "DID THAT HURT?" he yells.
"No, Sir!" came the reply.
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a U.S. Marine, Sir!"
The captain is impressed, and walks on to the next man.
He takes the stick and whacks the soldier right across the rear.
"Did THAT hurt?"
"No, Sir!"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a U.S. Marine, Sir!"
Still extremely impressed, the captain walks to the third guy, and sees he has an enormous erection. Naturally, he gave his target a huge WHACK with the swagger stick.
"Did THAT hurt?"
"No, Sir!"
"Why not?"
"Because it belongs to the guy behind me, Sir!"
Q: Do you know the most favourite play of gays?
A: Romeo and Julius.
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
''Isn't it wonderful?'' Brad exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.''
''He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''
Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means?
Father: It means 'to be happy'.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.
What's the definition of a poofter?
A bloke who enlarges the circle of his friends!