Joke #118

Q: Why can't gays drive faster than 68mph? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Vote: has 53.34 % from 157 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
Vote: has 86.35 % from 703 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, gay, management, navy
An alcoholic, a smoker and a gay went to a doctor. The doctor told them that if they do again what they think are addicted to, they will die. As soon as the alcoholic went out of the hospital, he saw a bar. He thought for a while and said to himself, "If I drink one, I will die, if I don’t drink, I will die, too. So it’s better to get drunk." And he entered the bar, drank and died. At that time, the smoker saw one cigarette-end on the street. The gay walking behind him started crying, "Don’t! Don’t do it!" "Why? I want to smoke so much." "If you bend... we both are dead!"
Vote: has 62.10 % from 289 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, doctor, gay
How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
Vote: has 51.42 % from 157 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay
There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend." The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey. The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?" The man says, "I found out that my son is gay." The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey. Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does."
Vote: has 86.83 % from 4488 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, gay, marriage
Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means? Father: It means 'to be happy'. Son: Are you gay? Father: No, son. I have a wife.
Vote: has 66.53 % from 200 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, wife
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
Vote: has 56.56 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, lesbian
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
Vote: has 53.78 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, gay
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back." Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex." Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?" In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."
Vote: has 74.59 % from 671 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay
What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag? Speed bumps.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, life
More gay banter... Four men got together at a reunion. All of them had sons and they started discussing them. The first man said his son was doing so well, he now owned a factory, manufacturing furniture. Why, just the other day he gave his best friend a whole house full of brand new furniture. The second man said his son was doing just as well. He was a manager at a car sales firm. Why, just the other day he gave his best friend a Ferrari. The third man said his was doing well too. He was a manager at a bank. Why,just the other day he gave his best friend a the money to buy a house. The fourth man just shook his head. He said his son was gay and hadn't amounted to much. But he must be doing something right because,just the other day he was given a house, furniture and a Ferrari by his friends!
Vote: has 74.17 % from 325 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay