Joke #2593

I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
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Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
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What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections? A whine and cheese party.
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There were three nuns, they all told the priest that they were going to do one sin each. So the priest says ok, do your sins, come back, and I’ll bless you. So, they went to do their sins and came back to get blessed. The priest asked the first one who was laughing what her sin was. She said, "I had sex with a guy." The priest said ok, blessed her and said go drink some holy water. So she did! The next one was laughing harder, and the priest asked her what her sin was. She said, "I got in a fight with another nun." So he says ok, blessed her and told her to go drink some holy water. So she did. The priest asked the last one who was laughing even harder what she did. And as she was laughing she said, "I pissed in the holy water!"
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Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
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The Queen of England was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn’t be ignored. "Oh dear," said the Queen, "How embarrassing. I’m frightfully sorry about that." "It’s quite understandable," said the archbishop, and after a moment added, "as a matter of fact I thought it was the horse."
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Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence? Answer: Divorced.
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How can you tell she's a macho women? She rolls her own tampons.
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Question: Why did God give men penises? Answer: So men would at least have one way to shut a woman up.
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Q: What book do women like the most? A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
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Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon? A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
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