A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.
the doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it.
The woman replied, snorting pepper.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ...
20 years old and mixed up with coke !
"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."
Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head?
A: A brunette.
2 girls meet:
"Me & my husband are no longer together..."
"Why?"
"Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?"
"No, of course I couldn't!"
"Well he couldn't either!"
When can women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal.
The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.
"Breast fed," the woman replied.
"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked.
She did.
He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.
Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight!
You don't have any milk."
"I know," she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."
