Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
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So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it.
One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is."
She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties.
After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess.
"Blue."
"Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear.
"Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out.
When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear.
His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
Vote:
Chuck Norris bunked school one day.
Till today that day is known as Sunday.
Vote:
John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!
What is the longest word in the English language?
Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters!
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin.
At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again.
The teacher says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "Checking my answers."
A student visits the principal's office
The principal asks: "What is your name?"
The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david."
The principal asks: "Do you have a stutter?"
Student answers: "No, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."
Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!
Teacher: "I killed a person, tell me this sentence in future tense."
Student: "In future tense, You will go to jail."
This guy went to school and he asked
"May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, " no not unless you say your abc's."
The guy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
The teacher asked "Where's the p?
He replied, " running down my leg!"