Two good ol’ boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants.
Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Bubba says, “Hey, Junior - there’s the NCO Club.
Let’s you and me stop in and have us a drank.”
“But we’s privates,” protests Junior.
“NO, we’s sergeants now,” says Bubba, pulling him inside
“Now, Junior, I’m gonna sit down and have me a drank.”
“But, we’s privates,” says Junior.
“You blind, boy!” says Bubba, pointing at his stripes.
“We’s Sergeants now!”
So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba.
“You’re cute,” she says, “and I’d like to take you someplace and make you feel good — but I’ve got a bad case of gonorrhea.”
Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, “Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what that gonorrhea means.
If it’s good, give me the okay sign.”
Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Bubba the big okay sign.
Three weeks later Bubba is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea.
“Junior,” he says, “What you give me the okay for?!”
“Well Bubba, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea only affects the privates.”
Then he pointed to his stripes and says, “But we’s Sergeants now!
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
“Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one,
“that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.”
“Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.”
“What was the jingle?” asked the first. “Oh,” replied the other offhand, “just our medals.”
America doesn't need a military...
We've got Chuck Norris
Vote:
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom.
The Marine goes to leave without washing up.
The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands."
The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messes up and lands on its tail rotor.
The landing is so hard it breaks off the tail boom.
However, the chopper fortunately remains upright on its skids, sliding down the runway, doing 360s.
As the Cobra slides past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this radio exchange takes place: Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know, Tower, we ain't done crashin' yet."
The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, "I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning."
"Thank you very much, sir."
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down.
The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy.
So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter.
They throw out a pistol. “Throw out more!” shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle.
“More!” he cries again.
They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control.
He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport.
They get into a jeep and drive off.
Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who’s crying.
They ask him why he’s crying and he says “A pistol hit me on the head!”
They drive more and meet another boy who’s crying even harder.
Again they ask why and the boy says, “A rifle hit me on the head!”
They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who’s laughing hysterically.
They ask him, “Kid, what’s so funny?” The boy replies, “I sneezed and a house blew up!”
A visitor, returning to Kuwait for the first time since the Gulf War, was impressed by a sociological change.
On previous visits she noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands.
She observed that the men now walked over 20 paces BEHIND their wives!
She approached one of the women for an explanation: "What enabled women here to achieve this marvellous reversal of roles?"
"Land mines," replied the Kuwaiti woman.
Did you hear about the gay French General?
He blew Napoleon's Bonaparte!
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.