How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
The wife's just said to me "Can you explain why I've just found another womans knickers in your coat pocket?"
I said "Yes, I can explain. It's because you're a nosy ****!"
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.”
He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?”
The woman replies, “I’m a whore.”
The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.”
The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.”
“No, that is still too crude. Try again.”
They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?”
“Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”
Vote:
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment?
Potpourri.
A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit.
He asked the driver her name.
She said, "I'm Mrs.
Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia."
As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common?
They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
Q: Why is life like a penis?
A: Women make it hard!
When can women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
"Sorry sir, are these plastic flowers?"
"As natural!"
"What? They are natural?"
"No, plastic!"
"But, for Christ Sake, sir! Are they natural or plastic?"
"Natural plastic!"
"Does she have a boyfriend?"
"Yes, a cute, strong and clever one."
"What's the name?"
"John, Michael and Bill."
Vote: