How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? A: Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
75% of women do not eat after 6... shots.
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?” The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly not!” “Hmmm,” he replies. “It must be your feet, then.”
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Q: How do you wake up Lady gaga? A: Poke her face.