Joke #2651

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.

They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.

If God is a woman then we're all going to go to Hell, but we'll never know why.

Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.

*My dad helping me find a gf* Dad: What do you want most in a woman? Me: My dick. *Grounded and high fived*

Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at boobs and she said "Press One?" So I did... I don't remember much after that.

This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."

Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".

A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy her cigarettes. He walks there only to find it closed. So, he goes into a nearby bar to use their vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and eventually end up in her apartment. After they've had some fun, he realizes it's 3 a.m. and says, "My wife's going to kill me. Do you have any talcum powder?" The woman gives him some talcum powder, which he rubs on his hands and then goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and screeches, "Where the hell have you been?!" "Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there, we had a few drinks, one thing led to another, and I ended up in bed with her." "Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and says, "You liar! You went bowling again!"