I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance she leaned over and pushed me.
It can buy a House But not a Home It can buy a Bed But not Sleep It can buy a Clock But not Time It can buy you a Book But not Knowledge It can buy you a Position But not Respect It can buy you Medicine But not Health It can buy you Blood But not Life So you see, Money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want totake away your pain and suffering... So send me all your money and I will suffer for you. A more true Friend you will never find.
He was so mean he used to give his children £1 each instead of an evening meal, then charged them £2 for breakfast.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the door bell, she yells: DING DONG!
Q: What do you call money that grows on trees? A: Marijuana
Yo mama so poor when I ring her buzzer she says, "bzzzzzzzzz."
I saw a tramp who was so broke he was standing on the corner shouting, ‘Will work for cardboard and a magic marker!’
In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.