Joke #2673

I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance she leaned over and pushed me.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: money

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I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
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How do you know you’re flying over the poorer part of town? You see toilet paper hanging on the clothes lines.
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A worker approaches his employer and holds up his last wage packet. ‘This is two hundred pounds short,’ he says. ‘I know,’ says the employer. ‘But last week I overpaid you two hundred pounds, and you didn’t say anything.’ ‘Well,’ says the worker. ‘I don’t mind an occasional mistake. But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.’
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Yo mama so poor a man broke in her house a gave her money.
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has 69.34 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can rent it for a couple of hours.
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A white man walking down a beach kicks up a lamp, with hope he rubs the lamp. Sure enough a genie pops out, and says, "I will grant you 3 wishes but be warned every black person in the world will get double what you wish." After a thought he says he's got it. "My first wish is i want a million dollars." Genie "your wish has been granted and every black person now has 2 million dollars." Man "Ok my second wish i want 10 thousand acres Genie.." Granted but every black person in the world now has 20 thousand acres. "And now you have but one wish." "The man replies with my final wish... i wish you to beat me half to death."
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has 70.85 % from 547 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, genie, money, racist
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me." At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed that he had only put $20,000 into the envelope because he needed $10,000 for a new baptistery. "Well, since we’re confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000." The lawyer was aghast. "I’m ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, lawyer, money, priest
No matter how hard we try, we never seem to save any money. Our neighbours are always buying something we can’t afford.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
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Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama