Joke #2693

Q: How do you fix a woman's watch? A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
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A sexy woman walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The Bartender replies, "Sorry, the manager is out. Can I help you?" By this time the woman has run her fingers over his face and in his mouth where the horny bartender is gently sucking on them. She says, "You sure he isn’t here?" The bartender mumbles through her fingers, "Yes, he’s out for another 2 hours. Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help?" The woman then says, "Oh, I only wanted to tell him there’s no toilet paper or soap in the ladies toilets!"
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, life, women
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes." The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
Vote: has 53.62 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Seven days on a honeymoon make one hole weak.
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: holiday, women
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Question: What’s the best thing about a blow job? Answer: Ten minutes of silence.
Vote: has 77.62 % from 149 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, time, women
Q: Who were the first two black women? A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker!
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, insulting, vulgar, women
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!" They each continue on their way, and ... as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ... and dies immediately. If only men would listen...
Vote: has 68.56 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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