Joke #2716

Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women

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A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, single, ugly, women
I unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter... I'm sure she's gonna write a song about it.
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, music, women
Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..." "Oh no' Edna replies, that's where I put him to dry !"
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: women
A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. "Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up." "Oh, no.”" the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come back." The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear." "That’s what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let’s do that." Six months later the lady charges into the doctor’s office. "Well, how’s the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks. "Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made." "What’s wrong?" asks the doctor. "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers. "Lady," the doctor reports, "those aren’t bags, those are your boobs, and if you don’t leave that screw alone, you’re going to have a beard!"
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: doctor, office, women
There was a crooked woman, who ran a crooked mile. She found a crooked Weiner, who always made her smile. She belongs in prison, for she is just a crook. And if you don't believe me, you can read it in her book.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: communication, poems, prison, women
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
"There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works."
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women