Joke #2631

How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...

What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man? Answer: “Lazy.”

Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.

A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home during a small party. He was a bit foggy after having a drink or two. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" The wife went red with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, with the guests not saying a word, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"

What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.

My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position. I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy. He agreed with me. I got upset that he agreed. I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.

How is a police car like a women? It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.

Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series. We know it as Forged in the fire.

Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.