Joke #2752

Somebody knocks on door: Who is there? Police? What do you want? We want to talk. How many of you are there? Two. So talk with each other.

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Mom can i buy some heels? No. Mom can i buy a bra? No. Mom can i buy a dress? No. Mom can i buy a barbie doll? No. You never let me buy anything! Shut up, Justin.

A professor was walking along a very narrow street when he came face to face with a rival professor. The street was too narrow for two to pass. The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily: "I never make way for fools!" Smiling, the professor stepped aside and said: "I always do."

Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath? A: Stinkerbell!

Did you hear about the blind circumcicionist? He got the sack.

The best way to make somebody remember you is to borrow money from them.

"Knock Knock?" "Who's there?" "Europe." "Europe who?" "No you're a poo."

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?" I said "Because he didn't die in real life"

My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology." So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!" Then I disconnected his life support.