Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.
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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A. One - men will screw anything.
B. One - men will screw up anything.
C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
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Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them cause they will never see the light.
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Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
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Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just have a nursing student do it.
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"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
The doctor gave me one year to live.
So in the heat of the moment, I shot him.
And the judge gave me 15 years.
Problem solved.
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team?
Because she keeps running away from the ball.
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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