Joke #6339

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.

Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."

If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen? The first one would say its causing global warming. The second one would say its racist. The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.

Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman - then always be Batman

Q: How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They always use candles.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark