Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
Q: How is a boss better than a wife? A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
Doc, I think I need to wear glasses Indeed you have to, you are in a bank.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark
Texan: "Where are you from?" Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions." Texan: "Okay — where are you from, jackass?"
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
I did so much crack, one day I broke in my own house. I ain't lying. I was halfway out the door with the TV before I realized it was my place. And before I broke in, I used to stand outside and case the joint. Finally, I said, "Damn, this brother will never come home!"
How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.
Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? A1. "What's a light bulb?" A2. One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. A3. Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"