Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.
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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1001.....1 to hold the light bulb and 1000 to turn the house.
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Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes.
That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.
What did the light bulb say to the switch?
You turn me on.
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"Doctor I feel like biscuits!"
"What, you mean those square ones?"
"Yes!"
"The ones you put butter on?"
"Yes!"
"Well, that means you’re crackers!"
Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it'', he said, "Those are pickled onions'
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that's a hardware problem.
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