Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.
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What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
How did the black guy escape from jail?
He unscrewed the light bulbs.
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How many lawyers dose it take to change a light bulb?
3, 1 to climb the ladder, 1 to shake it, and 1 to sue the ladder company.
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Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
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What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag?
Speed bumps.
On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers.
He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight..
Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob."
All the passengers hear it.
As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!"
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
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