Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.
A man was drowning and asked God to help him. A boat came by wanting to help the man. The man refused and said that God would save him. The man drowned and went to heaven. He asked God why didn't you save me. God responded, "I sent a boat to get you and you did not get on."
If I could bring one dead person back to life I'd bring back Walt Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction...
How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.