Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.
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Q: How Many White People Does it Take To Screw In a Lightbulb?
A: None, they get a nigger to do it.
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Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.
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Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see."
She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
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How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life.
The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood."
So god turned him into a maxi pad.
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"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1001.....1 to hold the light bulb and 1000 to turn the house.
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