Doc, I think I need to wear glasses
Indeed you have to, you are in a bank.
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A pastor was caught stealing in the church by a member of the church.
This was the conversation between them
Pastor: Blessed are those who see and don't talk.
Member: For they shall receive their share. Amen.
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."
A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. "Dear husband, you wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden."
The prisoner writes back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
Man returning with his wife from guests.
Drunk man drives car better than his sober wife.
But there is only one problem, how to explain that to the policeman?
Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story.
"Once upon a time there was a white bunny..."
"Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?"
"Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said.
"Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...."
"Dad, a little more grown up!"
"Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown.
" I swear!"
"Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
A director’s wife hears that her husband has a new secretary.
The director comes home and the wife starts putting questions:
Does this new secretary of yours have nice legs?
I don’t know.
What color do her eyes have?
I didn’t notice...
But about dressing, how does she dress?
Very fast...
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul.
Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
Vote:
Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
Vote:
The fastest dialog in the world:
(WC door is opening)
Man inside: Heyyy!
Man outside: Sorryyy!