The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, “What do you like best about it, class?
Let’s start with you, Robert.”
Robert: “The artwork.”
Teacher: “Very good. And you, Peter?”
Peter: “Her tits!”
Teacher: “Peter, get out!
Go stand in the hall!
And you, Johnny?”
Johnny: “I’m leaving, teacher, I’m leaving…”
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On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
"The female hostel will be prohibited for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $100.
Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $200.
Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
The answer to the problem was “log(1+x)”.
A student copied the answer from the student next to him, but didn’t want to make it obvious that he was
cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to “timber(1+x).”
There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
Which one has the biggest tits?
The blonde....she's 18.
One day two girls were trying out for the school cheerleading squad.
One was a blonde and one was a brunette.
After they both had tryouts, they went home to wait until the results were posted.
The blonde goes to see if she made it that night.
Once she found out she made it she got out her cell phone and called the brunette, but she didn't answer, so the blonde just went back home. The next day the brunette called the blonde to see if she wanted to go with her to look at their scores.
The blonde says sure and meets the brunette at the school.
The brunette beats the blonde to the school, so she goes ahead and looks at the scores to find out they both made it.
When the blonde gets there, she finds her name on the list again. Then she says, "Yes! I made it again, I made it last night and I made it again today. I am on a roll!"
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !"
Ramu: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Ramu: "She's a woman".
A lecturer who was drunk walked in a class.
Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate.
After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college.
Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too.
Mother: Yes you do.
Peter: Give me a good reason
Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
“Now then, mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer.
“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I
hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”