Joke #2826

Girls are like biscuits - they are tough until they get wet.
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has 52.42 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
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has 72.91 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: car, death, dirty, money, wife
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry
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has 36.62 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. With that, the baby pops right back inside. “Damn!”, says the doctor. A short while later he sees the head push through again. “Are you my dad?”, asks the baby. “No, I am your doctor.”, he replies. Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother’s womb. The doctor turns to a nurse and says, “Nurse, get that baby’s father in here right away–we may have a situation on our hands!”. Moments later the baby’s father is in the delivery room, and the baby’s head once again pops out. “Are you my dad?”, the baby asks of the father. The father replies, “Yes, little baby, I am your father!” The baby then reaches up and begins poking his father in the forehead with his index finger–”How do you like that?”
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has 76.14 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, dirty, doctor, women
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, women
My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, "I shaved my pussy you know what that means?" I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."
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has 74.87 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: Screw me.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
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has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? No ball room.
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has 71.64 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Their was a camel and elephant, the elephant said to the camel. "How come you have your t*ts on your back?" and the camel got offended so he told the elephant. "Well why do you have your d*ck on your face?"
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has 69.06 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says, "I thought you guys only drank blood." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "We do, I'm making tea."
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has 66.94 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty