Joke #5369

What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women? Bingo!
Vote: has 59.80 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
Vote: has 75.37 % from 1424 votes. Send joke:

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Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?" Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."
Vote: has 86.72 % from 690 votes. Send joke:

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Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!
Vote: has 59.17 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

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What is something nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.
Vote: has 62.10 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman. He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route. When he gets to the very last house, he is greeted by a gorgeous housewife, who invites him in for lunch. Joe happily accepts. After lunch, the woman invites him up to the bedroom for some "desert." Joe happily accepts again. When they are done, the woman gives him a dollar. Joe asks what the dollar is all about. The woman replies: "It was my husband's suggestion. When I told him that it was your last day at work, he told me 'F**k him, give him a dollar. The lunch was my idea."
Vote: has 85.77 % from 270 votes. Send joke:

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Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'" The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'" The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'" The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well…?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6’2, hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God…'"
Vote: has 76.66 % from 108 votes. Send joke:

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I think I just evolved into Homo Erectus.
Vote: has 30.59 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

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A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; H*ndjob: 20.00." Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "Can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the h*ndjobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "Indeed I am." The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich!"
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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Vote: has 60.01 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

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Can I dock my rocket at your space station?
Vote: has 31.08 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

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