Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
One spelling mistake can destroy your life! A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word: "I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
There’s one good thing about life. It’s only temporary.
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Whats the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells.
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag? Speed bumps.
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry? A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.