Joke #2830

Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.

Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman - then always be Batman

Los Angeles Homeless... Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."

"Do you know what the difference is between toilet paper and a shower curtain?" "No" "So, it was you!"

Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.

Patient: "Doctor, I can’t sleep." Doctor: "Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off."

Why does Rick Ross rap about cars when he cant fit in them.

Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. "Sleep now, it's all right," he told her. But she kept trying to sit up and said, "Honey, I really need to tell you something." Finally Jake let her get it off her chest. "Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "Don't worry about it," Jake said, "I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"

I did so much crack, one day I broke in my own house. I ain't lying. I was halfway out the door with the TV before I realized it was my place. And before I broke in, I used to stand outside and case the joint. Finally, I said, "Damn, this brother will never come home!"

Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.