Joke #3618

Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life

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A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, life, masturbation
Ok, so there this girl sleeping in religion class The teaches asks the class "who is our lord and savior?" The boy behind the girl pokes her with a pen and she screams jesus christ! The teacher says "good, now who created the earth in seven days?" The boy pokes the girl again, she lest "oh my god!" The teacher says "good, now what did Eve say to Adam after their 11 child? The boy pokes the girl one more time and the girl yells "if you poke me with that ting one more time im going to break it off!"
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: god, life, teacher
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
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has 82.16 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, life, vulgar
Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request. Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
A sixty-four-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-two-year-old woman." "What's wrong with that?" asks the young man. Between his sobs and sniffles, he answers, "You don't understand, every morning before she goes to work, we make love. At lunchtime she comes home and we make love again, and then she makes my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me oral sex, the best an old man could want. And then at suppertime, and all night long, we make love." He breaks down, no longer able to speak. The young man puts his arm around him. "I don't understand. It sounds like you have the perfect relationship. Why are you sitting here on this park bench crying?" The senile old man answers, again through his tears, "I forgot where I live."
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has 83.48 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: life
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, work
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
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has 78.06 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But In the end, it doesn't even matter.
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, music