Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
Why don’t all the managers go into holiday at once? So people can’t see that the company works without them..
A pastor was caught stealing in the church by a member of the church. This was the conversation between them Pastor: Blessed are those who see and don't talk. Member: For they shall receive their share. Amen.
I couldn't understand why it hurts a lot when you bite your tongue accidentally, but it doesn't hurt when you bite it intentionally, and what I couldn't understand most is why you're biting your tongue right now?!
What is Jehovah's wiseness favorite band? The Doors.
A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application. "Do you have references?" she asked. The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examins him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?" The Doctor says, "You’re not drinking enough water."
Lebron better than Jordan? Ha! Yea right. Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field.